I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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