Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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