Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
