all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize