if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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