A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Randomize
