very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
