Do you still have your period?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize