I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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