Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
