how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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