sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
