All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
