I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
