The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
