He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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