Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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