He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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