i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
