OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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