oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
