I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
