Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I wish you could order shots online.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Bring me that man meat
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
