I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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