Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Tell her she can't have a vagina
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize