Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
