Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
