i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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