yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
