i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize