Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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