im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
