You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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