dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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