I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
