You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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