I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
a search helicopter?!
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
