Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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