I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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