That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Still dying that you shit outside
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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