I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
