Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
im holly from the hills drunk
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Houston, we have a squirter
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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