Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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