youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Bring me that man meat
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
