I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
