operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
