i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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