i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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