are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
