Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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