A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
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