He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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