got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I am naked and annoyed.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
