is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
