I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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