Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
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