I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
