Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
