The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
