Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
