Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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