Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
why do cheetos always look like penises
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
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