I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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