I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
