You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
