i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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