you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
