Just cropdusted the office
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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