I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
