awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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